How to Get Sober If You Are in a Relationship and Both Partners Are Addicted to Drugs
If you are in a relationship and both you and your partner are struggling with drug addiction, you might feel hopeless and trapped. You might think that there is no way out of your situation, that you are doomed to live a life of misery and pain. But this is not true. There is hope for recovery, and there are steps you can take to get sober and stay sober together.
Admitting you both have a problem
The first step is to admit that you have a problem and that you need help. This might sound simple, but it can be very hard to do, especially if you have been using drugs for a long time and have become dependent on them. You might feel ashamed, guilty, or afraid of what will happen if you stop. You might also feel that you need drugs to cope with stress, trauma, or other issues in your life. But the truth is that drugs are only making things worse, not better. They are harming your health, your relationships, your finances, and your future.
Rehab for both spouses or partners
The second step is to seek professional help. You cannot do this alone. You need the support and guidance of trained experts who can help you detox safely, treat any underlying mental health conditions, and provide you with the skills and tools you need to stay sober. There are many options for treatment, such as couples inpatient rehab, outpatient programs, medication-assisted treatment, therapy, counseling, support groups, and more. The best option for you will depend on your specific needs and preferences. You can find treatment resources online or by calling a helpline.
The third step is to work on your relationship. Addiction can take a toll on any relationship, but especially on one where both partners are addicted. You might have lost trust, respect, or intimacy with each other. You might have lied, cheated, stolen, or hurt each other in the process of getting high. You might have enabled or codependent behaviors that keep you stuck in the cycle of addiction. To heal your relationship, you need to work on rebuilding trust, communication, honesty, and love. You need to set healthy boundaries, respect each other’s recovery process, and support each other’s goals. You also need to find new ways to have fun and enjoy life together without drugs.
The fourth step is to make lifestyle changes that support your sobriety. This might involve changing your environment, your habits, your friends, or your hobbies. You need to avoid anything that triggers your cravings or reminds you of your drug use. This might mean moving to a new place, getting rid of any drugs or paraphernalia in your home, cutting off contact with people who still use drugs or encourage you to use them, and finding new activities that make you happy and fulfilled without drugs. You also need to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This might mean eating well, exercising regularly, sleeping enough, meditating, praying, or doing anything else that helps you relax and cope with stress.
Hold one another accountable
The fifth step is to stay connected and accountable. Recovery is not a one-time event; it is a lifelong journey that requires constant vigilance and commitment. You need to stay in touch with your treatment providers, your support network, and your higher power (if you have one). You need to attend meetings, therapy sessions, follow-up appointments, or any other activities that help you stay on track. You also need to be honest with yourself and others about how you are feeling and what you are doing. If you slip up or relapse, don’t give up or beat yourself up. Instead, reach out for help and get back on track as soon as possible.
Getting sober in a relationship is not easy, but it is possible. It takes courage, dedication,
and teamwork. But the rewards are worth it: a healthier body and mind; a stronger bond
and love; a brighter future and hope.